The day started with sweetness as I awoke earlier than my usual for a holiday Monday. I had a ferry to catch and the reason made the still dark outside start to my day sweet. The chance to catch up with a dear friend who I'd last seen face to face almost 7 years ago was the first thought that came to mind as I reached over to quiet the buzzing alarm clock.
Into my half-asleep world, a note of sour appeared as I noticed something online during my usual morning routine. I saw a comment on facebook that a man I considered a hero and inspiration in my life had passed away on August 31, 2010. The world as I knew it felt different, as if a light in the darkness had gotten a little harder to see. Part of me wanted to crawl back under my covers and pretend I hadn't woken up, pretend I'd slept through my alarm and just pretend the day wasn't happening. The thing is, I couldn't do that. I couldn't miss out on seeing this friend, and I couldn't respond that way to news of his death. That response would have been contrary to everything I learned from his example of engaging life no matter what the challenges.
So I headed off and used my time on the ferry ride to try to savour the lessons I'd learned so that when the time came to meet my friend, I could give her my full attention. The hours I spent with her were sweet indeed, from a delicious lunch to an afternoon spent sipping lattes, catching up, sharing our hearts and discovering with much joy, that even after seven years of limited contact because of living on either different continents or opposites sides of the same one, some friendships continue to grow sweeter with age.
This friend is one who used to be a youth in the youth ministry I worked with during my internship in Toronto. She was an amazing individual then who taught me much, even when I was supposed to be mentoring her! Thankfully, over the years, a youth and youth leader relationship has grown into a friendship between equals that I treasure. I love her passion for life and her desire to pursue her dreams and share her gifts of music with those around her. She makes me so proud to know that I had a small piece to play in the fabulous woman she is today.
On the bus ride back to the ferry, I started to listen to some songs on my Zune, ones that reflected my need to remember the sweet side of life as I reflected on the sour note the was still sounding as I pondered the death of a hero. In the midst of that, my cell phone rang. I answered it to discover another good friend on the phone with the sweet news that he and his partner had just gotten engaged.
I don't know whether anyone who might read this will actually know the story of Jim MacLaren, and I'm not going to try to tell it here. His story can best be heard in his own words on his website (http://www.jimmaclaren.com/). What I do want to try and share is why I chose to describe this as a sweet and sour day rather than a bittersweet day.
At heart, Jim's story is of one man who chose to accept the adversity that life handed him and find joy and life in the midst of those challenges. Losing his lower left leg, later becoming a quadriplegic and then living with constant pain and other medical challenges as he regained an amazing amount of sensation and movement, all of those thing might well have resulted in a man who was lost in bitterness and yet it didn't. It's a crazy title, but a couple of years back, I purchased his DVD, "How I found happiness after being hit by a bus". The thing that has always struck me, when I've read his story or listened to recordings of him speaking, is his sincerity. He doesn't pretend that life isn't difficult and that sometimes he'd rather it had less challenges, but he made a conscious choice to choose living and make a difference in his world.
I know he's made a difference in mine. He taught me to take risks, because, really what's the worst that can happen. He taught me that in a family heavy on the "glass half empty" mentality, that it's okay to choose to be a "glass half full" kind of girl and to live believing that no matter what happens there is something beautiful and sweet to find in the midst of it. Not by hiding from life or pretending that the bad stuff doesn't happen, but by facing it head on, learning to accept it and moving on to choose life.
So I can't describe today as bittersweet. Bitter would be the least fitting tribute to a man whose life was the complete opposite. But I do have to describe the day as also having a sour flavour, because there is a discordant feeling as I realize that a hero and source of inspiration is no longer on this earth.
The thing is, though, it's also right to call it a sweet and sour kind of day, because the sour notes, made the sweet ones even sweeter and more precious. Life is short and sometimes the sour is the reminder we need to savour the sweet. While I won't have the opportunity to hear new insights from Jim MacLaren, I will savour the fact that two short weeks before his death, I chose to pay attention to a quiet nudging that said I should send him an email to say thank you and, hopefully, to offer him a little encouragement in his ongoing health challenges. His return message to say thanks for reaching out will stay saved in my email as a reminder that it's important to not let the little moments slip by unnoticed, even if they take me outside of my comfort zone.
The best tribute I can think of is that those of us who were touched by the life of Jim MacLaren will follow his example to be a beacon in the dark places and a light that celebrates the blessings that are found in choosing life.
"Live each moment like it's the last moment in your life."
Jim MacLaren
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